Thursday, April 3, 2008

Friendly Fire

Pass the analytical knife.

Now you're about to get cut up or get cut down
It's all about the wordplay all about the sound in the tone of my voice
You gotta let me make my choice alone before my food gets cold
Better shut up or get shot down
It s all about the know how, all just a matter of taste
Stop telling me the way I gotta play. Too much food on my plate.

~Jason Mraz, Too Much Food

I've pretty much heard it all now. In the world of ridiculous accusations, I've reached the epitome. Lock it down, ship it out, done deal.

Last night I was told that I was trite and offensive. Well now, offensive, sure, I've heard that before, but never in connection with me offering someone my friendship. Yep. In telling this person that I'm their friend, I offended and became common. The word trite actually was used. Trite. I may be many things, but not that. I am never less than sincere when exposing how I feel. What would be the point?

When I say I'm somoene's friend, it is the same as when I give my love (and really, isn't friendship a version of love?). It is without condition or expectation. It is what it is; this is who I am. (I've done enough soul surgery to know.) I don't ever require that a person declare the same to me, or feel the same toward me. I give both easily. I can't not.
You can say that I'm the one curly fry in the box of the regular
Messing with the flavor, oh the flavor that you savor

~Jason Mraz, Too Much Food

I've always felt different, always felt like I'm somewhat of an outsider in this world. I'm aware that I'm too empathetic and sympathetic for my own good. Again, it's who I am. I've learned to accept that about myself, see it as a privilege even. So being, I've also learned that, in a world filled with hatred, anxiety, and sorrow, I'm a good force of energy. In an autobiographical poem from years ago, I wrote the following about my inner-workings and self-acceptance of such:
Babi rises with the sun,
and gives out love like gumdrops
Babi shines bright
Babi's alright
Babi take a bow tonight


So I give love and friendship easily. So what. So I wear my heart on my sleeve. So I don't hold back. So I'm fiercely passionate. So I (try to) recognize the good in people and zero in on it like a murder of crows at the bread factory dumpster. So what. Isn't there enough disrespect, antagonism, and apathy in the world already? I'm thinkin' maybe so.

Does that mean there's no depth in my actions or feelings? Fie. Ridiculous notion. Preposterous. Absurd. It's not about warm fuzzies; it's about being there. My heart is big enough to hold the entire Universe in a spiritual hug, and I'm just the gal to do it. Oh yeah. Try'n stop me. If I ever do stop reaching out, pass the tequila shots around and say a kind word, because I'm already gone to another plane of existence. Spread my ashes someplace pretty and know that you were loved (sincerely) by a word-flingin' gypsy girl.
I ain't the one whose gonna be missing the feast
Just like you ain't the one who seems to be calming the beast

~Jason Mraz, Too Much Food

5 comments:

  1. Crazy for saying what they said! They don't know what they're missing. You are a awesome friend to many and we LOVE YOU for who you are....you wear it well sister. ILY

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  2. Shotgun - check
    Spare cartridges - check
    Colt 9 iron - check
    spare bullets - check
    passport - erm check...
    now dear friend barb, who do I have to go kill for saying shit like that.
    I'll try and be humane although I can't make none of them cast iron guarantees who hear about that there won't be a major amount of pain handed out or I could be really inhumane and post them a Sidney Devine's Greatest Hits on CD even the dogs howl at that one..

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  3. They say,"when the gods want to punish you they grant your wishes".
    You pray daily at the altar of expression and communication.
    Be thankful the person to whom you offered friendship offered their true feelings. Too often the polite smile and bitten tongue is the price of friendship.

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  4. Daisy-Daze... you'd know it as much as anyone. And if I wear it so well, why do I feel so nekkid all the time?! Hah. Love ya.

    G-Man (truly!), no need for violence, and please no aural assault! Rather, pity the ignorant. Karma will find its own way.

    Pizzachance - the gods are all that and a bag o' chips. Yes, yes, I do pray at that altar. For good measure, I even leave a bit of blood there now and again. Gladly. I am very thankful for said person's viewpoint and expression thereof. I've studied nature enough to understand that there are some animals that would rather die of starvation than be hand-fed... I feel the same sort of well-that's-just-the-way-of-some-things sorrow in this case.

    You can lead a hoss to Barb, but ya can't make 'em think.

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  5. Barb, true - karma will find the way and your right both the methods I suggested are cruel and barbaric, when clearly what you need to do is steer karma at them, I find sending them something like a plant helps :P

    "Oh sorry, it's not my fault the thing had a a nice big spider in it, I bought it online"

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