Saturday, February 9, 2008

Saturday Summation


My mind is whelmed over this morning. There are too many thoughts flitting about, like bees in a clover field. There's a constant buzz as things land momentarily, then flit off again... ideas that gather and settle, break apart, gather, and settle again. Every now and then, a wayward breeze rushes through and ruffles everything just as it seems to become clear.

I suppose it could be because I ate meat last night. Yes, yes I did. I made Szekely Gulyas (goulash for you yankess - but this ain't your Mama's beef n' macaroni) for dinner last night, and there's no such thing as vegetarian hungarian cuisine. But, oh my, it was good.

I don't think it's the meat.

I think I'm somewhat smitten... can one be somewhat smitten? See, the whole reason I cooked Hungarian food last night was that I invited David over for dinner. Early yesterday afternoon when he replied to my email and said he'd come, I found myself grinning foolishly for the rest of the day. And the grin just got bigger when I opened my door. We talked, laughed, ate, drank some good red, did the dishes together, listened to great tunes, teased the cat (no, that is not a euphemism!) danced, hugged, kissed (oh boy, did we), and then (nevermind - this is where the details stop)... the whole evening felt like a vacation. And I find myself wondering, "Could it be...?" And then I find myself wondering, "If so, who am I to be so deserving?"

I ask myself again, what have I ever done to have earned the amazing people who grace my life? Who am I that I should be so blessed? It's not a self-deprecating pondering, it's just pondering. Because I honestly don't know. Does it matter if I know? Ultimately, not. It's just that I seem to, without even trying, stumble upon people who make such a huge difference in my life, and then I hear from them that it's so difficult to meet quality people.

This weekend is a busy one for me. I need to go in to work today - I've been inundated with stuff to do there, and it will be good to work without interruption (except for the interruptions of my fevered imagination). I need to finish a project I've been working on for my Mom's birthday - she doesn't "do" computers, so I'm compiling a book of my postings here. I need to work on a new card order I got. I need to work on cards that I have to send out soon. There's the ever-present pile of laundry waiting for attention. I need to practice my music. And, hopefully, I'll get to see David again - the one thought that supplants the rest.

"Some days I feel like my shadow's casting me..."
~Warren Zevon

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