"Sure is funny how life turns out, ain't it?"
"All the time. I swear."
~Return to Lonesome Dove
I am 47 years old as of today. I'm excited about it. Forty-seven is a prime number, after all. Plus, 4 and 7 add up to 11 (also a prime), and in numerology that's a very good number. So, I'm looking forward to a great year. Don't get me wrong, forty-six wasn't bad, but it was definitely arduous at times, painful even, doing all that soul spelunking - not that I'm apt to give that up any time soon. I yam what I yam.
I had the day to myself yesterday and I did something I've been wanting to do for 15 years. 'Long about 1994 I read a wonderful story by Ursula Hegi, Stones From the River. I won't go into great detail about the book, but it's well worth the read. Here's what struck me the most and stayed with me. The protagonist, Trudi would take a handful of stones and assign each one a hurt, or a personage, or a wrong that had been done to her. One by one she would chuck the stones into the river to symbolize that those things couldn't hurt her any more.
That's what I did. While Nino snuffled around in the sand and rocks, I snuffled through my tears and got rid of the "stones" that were weighing me down. I spoke to each one, kissed each good bye, and one by one sent them flying out into the rapids. It was beautiful. Only thing missing was a shot of tequila to seal the deal (in my humble opinion tequila shots should be had any time something significant happens), but I had a thermo-mug full of good dark bean and that's nearly as perfect.
Nino seemed to sense that my cathartic event was at an end, climbed up on the boulder where I was perched and rested his head on my shoulder. With his warm body snugged next to me and his soft doggy breath on my cheek... I felt... mended. That dog, I swear, he's fixed something in me. He's scooped up some of the shards of my shattered heart and pasted them back together into something beautiful. I didn't know there were still so many busted off pieces, and I never would have guessed that a dog could do so much for me. I love that pup somethin' fierce. Of course, 5 minutes later he was having an argument with a recalcitrant branch that was stuck in the muck at the river's edge... he is a dog after all. Even more reason to love him.
So, 47... here we go. I feel better now than I did when I was 37. "I'm newly calibrated... "
This song ought to be my birthday anthem....
Collective Soul, Better Now