Friday, November 21, 2008

But Wait... That's Not All!

The above pic was sent to me by my nephew Homer who works at Guest Relations for MGM Studios in Disney World. He sent it along with the following text which I thought was pretty dang funny itself, so I thought I'd share: So, I just thought this was the funniest thing ever! Allow me to explain...This weekend at the Studios was ABC Super Soap Weekend. All the big stars from ABC Soap Operas come out and make public appearances and sign limited autographs. Well, these fans have no sense of reality versus real life. We at guest relations get numerous complaints and very angry guests when they are unable to obtain autographs. Susan Lucci is the biggest soap star and about 80% of the crazies come to see her. So when I walked in to our break room and saw this I laughed for quite some time. You may not find it as funny as I did, but you have to experience the craziness of Super Soap Weekend to fully appreciate the joke. Super Soap is by far the worst event that we have at the Studios. The crazies are…well…CRAZY! Bitchy and fat old ladies rolling around in electric scooters with no regard for the people the run over. Not to mention they have no sense of reality and they think these “stories” are real! It's Creepy!

And now.... drum roll please... for your Friday Attitude Adjustment and Amusement... the return of "The List." I heard it or said or wrote it or read it (emails) myself, and for whatever reason it amused me enough to want to post it here.

I'm not just pullin' your daisy, my friend.

I was going to replace the butt covers and I forgot.

He'll have to bring rolls, he has no buns.

It's extremely rare that I get blindsided by leftover emotions like that - usually I hear the quiet snick of the trigger and can duck and cover in plenty of time.

It'll remain an enigma until we're sufficiently bleary-eyed from some kind of substantial liquid.

And you know what they say, Ma? Good girls suck. Nice girls swallow. Yeah. Put that in your good Catholic incense burner and smoke it!

Come on and take a cha- cha- chance, move your hands like pinchers. Do the crabby dance!

Didn't someone once say "digression is the better part of pallor"?

My personal economy currently makes the rest of the nation's economy look like the roaring twenties doing big lines of blow with Reagan's eighties big-hair, big-wallet dumb asses!

I... uh... oh, fuck it... give me my orange jumpsuit (if you call me Pumpkin, I will kill you) and three squares and let me be.

I will tell you a story about Walt and his daughter, whose name I don't remember because... she was... naughty.


And now, just because it's such a lovely tune, listen to it at least twice... David Gray, The One I Love

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