Tuesday, November 25, 2008

...She Said Peevishly

"Unfortunately, common sense is the least common of all the senses."
~Mark Twain

Stuff that's been bugging me lately...

--Why to toilet paper manufacturers insist upon gluing down that first piece of tp?!

--Why do they put up road signs that say "Be Prepared To Stop"?! I am always prepared to stop.

--Two words: cell phones. I'd rather deal with a drunk driver than someone driving under the cellular influence. Also, I do not need to hear your personal conversations when I'm out shopping or dining (or anywhere in public) - keep your polyp rehash and dating woes for later.

--While we're on the subject of road distemper, do your fellow crash test dummies a favor and assume The Three Necessities Position: Head out of ass; Hands on the wheel; Eyes forward!

--Why is it that, when leaving voice mail, people feel the need to rattle off their phone numbers at the speed of light. You want me to call back? Don't abuse me with your auctioneer on espresso logorrhea. No, it doesn't help that you repeated it three times - it was indiscernible each freakin' time.

--If you take the last cup of coffee, make more!!!

--Designated smoking areas are just that. Quit giving the people using them "the look." They already know it's bad for their health - your withering glare is not going to make them drop their cig and yell "Hallelujah, I'm cured! Pass me a mug o' wheatgrass juice." You don't like the smoke? Stay the hell outa the smokehouse.


--Why are commercials always broadcast at three times the volume of the regularly scheduled program?! Beating me with your sales pitch will make me walk in the opposite direction.

--Your "personal relationship with Jesus" is just that - personal. Kindly keep it to yourself.

--Stop assuming that someone is going to fall off of the planet if they end up spending a holiday alone. "No thank you" means NO! It does not mean, "Please try harder, I'm just being shy."

--The offense you give is the offense you take - unclench already!

--Life goes on, move with it. You wanna dwell, you dwell alone.

--Would it kill you to smile and say a kind word to menial laborers?


Ok, I'm done. Go forth... have a day.

2 comments:

  1. Now that's the spirit! I could not have said it better! of course i couldn't da! once again you have put on paper what chases around sometimes in my head! made my day...
    lvya
    igs

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  2. Mark Twain was right for sure, I know people with good IQ but all the smarts of a box of cereal.
    As to the others, no idea, we don't got them we just have "STOP!" signs.
    Yup I'm with you on that one, sometimes want to put it somewhere, there is a law in this country now if your caught using your "cellphone" while driving and not using some form of handsfree kit i.e you've got the phone clamped to your ear - £60 fine.
    I know, I always make sure i'm crisp and clear - I need to be I often have to phone customers up who don't have the best of hearing.
    That's a gimme.
    Yup - Oh look ma a smoker, let's all stare at 'em n make 'em feel guilty.
    I know that and certain music within the TV program itself it goes from nice quiet level TO VERY LOUD, must be to waken people up.
    Amen Sista
    Heck if that were the case I'd have fallen off the planet years ago.
    As to the rest yup, I always do try and give someone a smile where possible...
    *smiles at you*

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