Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Never Say Die

V O T E ! ! !
Just FYI - today, in honor of the US Voting Public, I am wearing John's "Old Rasputin: Russian Imperial Stout - Never Say Die" t-shirt. It just seems fitting, y'know?
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Humility. Aye yi yi. I get skittish just breathing the word. Preaching humility is akin to praying for patience. It's never long before you're looking down the business end of a figurative double-barrel rifle and wondering how you can possibly talk your way out of the mess into which you've stumbled.

But.

Yesterday I got an email from a long lost... uh... something, stating that it had been a year to date since we'd last seen each other and hoping that I'd found "the peace and healing" I needed. I wrote back saying, "And then some." I shared a
poem I'd written a few months ago for Scott and some recent pics. He wrote back asking if the poem was for him. (*polite cough*). Nevermind that the bit about "eyes the color of the Aegean Sea" was lost on him. But really, to even try to make claim to something so obviously monumental in my life? Hoo-doggie. I responded saying, "No sorry. It's for Scott, tell you all about it if you'd like." The response I got was the one I expected - about as cliché as can be considering that I'm the horrible bitch who trashed his heart and sent him into a "tailspin," and including the classic, "I'm way over you."

'Scusi? What's to be over? I am not all that! Never was, never claimed to be, wouldn't want to be. But then, this is a person who has, sadly, allowed ego to replace whatever semblance there may have been of any heart. Quel dommage. It's sad really. He's one of those people who will never see fit to polish his own mirror (gotta be some unpleasant reflections there) because he's too busy peering into everyone else's. Altogether now, what's the opposite of humility kids? Mmhmmm. Arrogance. This guy is the poster child for that loathsome word. I'm not saying I'm without fault here, but my greatest fault was ever believing anything better in him. Foolish me. (JP was missing 1/3 of the equation - it's Live & Love & Learn). Don't get me wrong - I'm all for self-confidence in a man. In fact, it's quite a turn on for me. However, there's a vast difference between self-confidence and the sort of audacious pride that begets arrogance. That I despise in a man. It's ugly, really ugly.




He ended the short email saying that he hoped Scott got better treatment than he did "for Scott's sake." Lordy. In my opinion the epitome of arrogance is likening oneself to another person and/or one's situation to another person's. (How dare any of us be so presumptuous?!) That aside though, saying that Scott outshines this other person by miles is... well... like saying Godiva chocolate tastes better than peat moss. Plus, regardless of my feelings for him, Scott is one of the finer humans gracing this rock - he's a man of honor, he's caring, compassionate, intelligent and wise, and... *drum roll*... he's humble. It's what I admire and respect most in him. As if he'd be in my direct line of vision were I to feel any other way. In fact, humility tends to be the benchmark amongst all those in my circle.




So, friends n' neighbors, in this time of stone-throwing and mud-slinging chaos... take some time out today. Grab the vinegar and old newspaper, look hard at the mirror in different light, and start swiping some of those smudges away. How are we to see clearly if our reflection is clouded?


Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on.~Keane, Somewhere Only We Know

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