Wednesday, October 13, 2010

30 Days of Truth: Day Nine

First of all, a Happy Birthday shout out to Becky (Thinking Too Hard) who got me into this fine 30-day mess!

Day Nine - Someone you didn’t want to let go of, but just drifted.

The answer is... me. I let Barb Black drift for a very long time. I let her get lost in the shuffle, let her meander away nearly to oblivion. She didn't even complain. She didn't say a word. Didn't raise a fuss at all.

I buried her in layers of fat and apathy. I pushed her under with a finely honed, self-deprecating sense of humor. I made everything else and everyone else in my life more important than she was. So she went into hiding.

I didn't even realize what I was doing.

But I missed her when she was gone.

She was so far gone that I didn't even realize who or what I was missing.

Until.

Until she finally fought back. Until she came charging out of the deep dark woods, gypsy soul still firmly intact. Until she slapped me hard across the face and said, "What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Until she said, "You were always important to me."

I cried that day. I cried over the years we'd lost together. I cried over the years she had lost with everyone else. I mourned the could-have-beens.

You see, letting her drift, letting her go... it was all my fault, my greatest sin.

But.

We've found each other again. We've married and no one and nothing shall put that asunder. Not even me.

1 comment:

  1. Glad you found yourself and are so fearless in writing about it

    ReplyDelete