Hope you all had a wonderful 4th! It was definitely a day of celebration for me... I got to liberate the lad from the hospital! WoooHOOOO!!!!
He even had enough energy that we joined his family (they are a country unto themselves, I swah...) for a picnic and fireworks at the park in Bellevue. The weather was perfectly behaved. A fine time was had by all and the fireworks were actually much more impressive than I expected. Even the Bellevue Philharmonic (I still can't say the two words together without smirking though) was not bad at all. See, Bellevue Philharmonic puts me in mind of that scene at the end of The Fisher King where Robin Williams is directing all his fellow asylum-mates in a rendition of "How About You?" I digress. Anyway, the whole dang lot of us had a good time, and it truly amazed me to watch Scott enjoy his family, and them enjoy him, and just feel all the love and kick back after a week that wanted to rip everyone apart. Sometimes good things happen. Really really good things.
Of course, the sardonic side of me says, "Don't get too cozy, gal... the gods are merely winking in your direction for a moment."
When we got back to the house, I sat out back, staring at the stars and contemplating just how different this 4th of July felt from last year. Hell, last year, I think I took some of John's old morphine and crawled under the covers before the fireworks even started. Celebrating anything was just not part of my mindset. But this year... this year, I get assimilated by a whole 'nother clan, hauled out in public, and... I dunno. It's just. *sigh* When the spinning stops, someone hand my brain back to me. A year ago I was so so sad and alone; a month ago I was thrilled and hopeful; less than a week ago I was scared shitless; four days ago I was giddy with relief; yesterday I was happy and thankful; today feels almost normal, but restlessly so. If it makes no huge difference to Anyone or Anything else lurking out there in The Vasty Wasteland... could I please just have a calm stretch for a while? Thank ye kindly.
Still, for all I've got, and all I've been blessed enough to be able to hang on to... whew. Thank all the gods.