Here it is, Friday again. Weeeeeeee! On the lighter side of somewhere, I'm going back to the top 10 list. Only this time, these were all spoken by inhabitants of my household (myself included) - gods have mercy. We have fun. I tell ya, if it wasn't for the cheap entertainment....
1. Is that a sponge, or is that poop?
2. I have the fattest man ankles you've ever seen. I'm not kidding. Stop laughing!
3. "Are my shoulders even?"
"Yes, but your boobs are lopsided."
4. Would you like my old pony saddle? Maybe for decoration, or to put on the cat?
5. "I probably shouldn't tell you this, but I once ate a cockroach on a dare. I chased it down with whiskey if that's any consolation."
"No, it's not at all."
"But it was good whiskey!"
6. Anger management?! The hell?! Who the fuck are they to tell me I need anger management. Dammit. Fuck 'em.
7. I have standards. They're just pretty much undefinable.
8. "You know, Ghandi said, be the change you wish to see in the world."
"At least change your underwear!"
"The underwear has to want to change...."
9. "I had an MRI and they didn't find a thing inside my head."
"Wow. Nothing at all?"
10. "I'm no pet psychologist, but that cat is deranged." (spoken in near perfect Al Pacino mimickry)