Sunday, July 18, 2010

The Lamentation of a Passion Zealot

I learned a very sad lesson. It's probably one that I intrinsically knew, but I tried anyway. Can't fault me much for trying.

Passion can't be bought, or given. Passion can't be taught. Passion just is. Or isn't. Either people have passion in their lives or they don't. When it comes to passion there is a clear delineation between the Haves and the Have Nots.

There is no end. There is no beginning. There is only the passion of life.
~Federico Fellini

I've discovered the truth in this over the past few months. I have several stuck "friends" - it seems I'm something of a stuck people magnet. And that's okay. I'm happy to help and nothing makes me feel better than seeing someone break from their cocoon and fly. However... (How do I best say this without sounding arrogant and ostentatious, without sounding like a Passion Snob?) I'm sorry to say that I don't have a whole lot of patience for the Have Nots. Compassion, yes. Patience... eh... not so much. But, I've swallowed it down and I've tried. I've even tried harder.

This is not the result of me giving unsolicited advice. I am talking about people who approached me, specifically asking for help. I offered suggestions, tools, and techniques. I emitted exuberance in hopes that some would rub off. All were met with a big But - always an excuse of some sort. Still, I gave these people the benefit of the doubt and followed up with questions, ideas and more suggestions. I was encouraging, uplifting, and fervent. Nothing worked. They didn't want it to work, so my efforts really had no impact. And that's okay. Hey, it only riles me a little bit that these are people that consistently complain about their lives and how much they wish things were different, or they regularly post inspirational quotes without seeming to apply them. They began to feel like baggage to me, these people. Energy vampires, they actually seem to thrive on being unhappy and unfulfilled.

What it comes down to is that they lack passion in their lives. They have no zeal for anything. And... here's the harsh part... I can't carry their weight. I can't be passionate for them. So, I've quietly disengaged. I've withdrawn from their lives. There is my sadness.

Funny thing is, I used to be afraid of my own passion. Now I don't know what I'd do without it. And... maybe I really am a Passion Snob. I suppose I could be kinder and call myself a Passion Zealot, but why pull punches? Either way, I think I've proved myself on some fairly tough ground, and I think I've earned my stripes. I'm alive.

If there is no passion in your life, then have you really lived? Find your passion, whatever it may be. Become it, and let it become you, and you will find great things happen for you, to you and because of you.
~T. Alan Armstrong

1 comment:

  1. i love this post! i'm sorry for your pain...good for you for writing through it to process it and to know in your heart what you aren't! you have inspired me. i know i have been writing about being stuck yet i now feel like i'm unsticking! one positive reason is i check in with your blogs and see what you're up to on fb. :) thanks for all the inspiration. it's hard to let people go at first. but when we can begin to let them go, it gets easier. i must say the biggest gift someone gave me when i was about 27 was to say she no longer wanted to be friends with me. it hurt so very much but freed me to do exactly the same and weed out the toxic. bless you too, fellow artist! :)

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