Get Happy

It came at me from two different directions. One person said, rather derisively, "You have such a perfect life." Another said, "I loved hearing you... happy!" What an amazing dichotomy in two different observers. The first made me want to knuckle tap their skull. The second made me want to hug the stuffing out of them.

I don't have a perfect life. Right at the moment, I have a damned good life. I've worked hard to make it so, and I never for a single moment take it for granted.

I am happy. I'm happy because I appreciate the good that is in my life. I'm happy because I choose to be.

That sounds like a platitude, but it isn't. It's an attitude.

For a very long time my life wasn't really working for me. I was one of those who looked at people with "perfect" lives and thought, "Why can't I have what they have?!" But did I really want what they had? No. I only wanted what I didn't have. I wanted some confidence and contentment. I wanted happy.

It took a while for me to figure out that happy was there for the taking, and that happy was only going to be what I made it to be. It took a while for me to figure out that if I wasn't happy, it was up to me to change and make changes.

Happiness comes from within. Another platitude? Another truth. When you look outside yourself for happiness, you might find it, but it will be fleeting. Situations change, people die, children grow up. So, unless you've established it within yourself, that happy will change and die and move on accordingly.

How do you find it within yourself? You start by affirming it. You tell yourself you're worthy of it. You don't allow yourself to get caught up in petty pursuits and ridiculous drama. You accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative. (I've said this before.) It's not going to happen overnight, so don't come to me tomorrow and tell me I'm full of shit (and platitudes). It takes work, and sometimes it is hard work, and it requires constant vigilance. Happiness isn't a lottery that some people win, it is a way of life. I know some incredibly happy poor people and I know some miserable rich people - you see? It's what you have within, not what you have on the outside.

Now. To those of you who pooh-pooh all over another's happiness... shame on you. Shame! What is so twisted and wrong with you, so dark and ugly, that you can't appreciate someone else's joy? Your need to compare lives as if there's a scorecard is... well, at the very least it is counter-productive, but it just plain smells bad. You know what it is? It's a puerile need for attention. Grow up.

I realize that much of this post is a reiteration of things I've already said. I'll keep saying it.

Your happiness matters to me. But I can't make you happy. No one can except you.