here) and having to redo all of them, I was already in a somewhat put-out, grumpy mood last week. Granted, I was covering it well, because I knew my reaction was silly and childish, but it was still there.
Then I spent the better part of a day just cutting and folding cardstock. It's my least favorite part of my work. It's boring and no amount of Clapton will make it less boring. So, I was a little crabby about that too.
Then I talked to a friend of mine. He was in the same kind of crabby mood, and went on for a bit about all of the unrewarding stuff he was doing with his new line of work. Of course, being the philosopher that I am, at least as it applies to others and not myself, I said, "But you're now doing what you love. You could still be back at that desk, grinding away hour after hour and going home completely dissatisfied with your life." He did appreciated my comment and thanked me for it, "You're right! What the hell was I thinking?!"
I hung up and took a long look in the mirror. Ouch. The reflection wasn't pleasant, and I'm not talking about the weird mole on my face, or the fact that my hair was uncombed. I thought, "Who are you to talk? Here you are internally bitching about redoing some art and having to cut cardstock... but this is what you wanted! This is what you want! Isn't it?! Or would you rather be sitting at a desk, crunching numbers and feeling completely unfulfilled?!" I didn't give the bitch my answer, she already knew.
So I say, even a bad day making art is better than the best day doing anything else. Even the worst day doing the thing we're passionate about beats the best day doing other stuff. Period.
I'm good at desk work, very good at it, but it doesn't drive me. Gone are the days when I would be in tears on Sunday night because I knew that the following morning I had to go back to something that made me feel less than. Art drives me. Art makes me feel more than. Art makes me feel alive. It is, quite obviously, what I'm passionate about. I'm beyond grateful to have it in my life, and to have the opportunity to explore it.
Chop wood, carry water. Cut cardstock. It's all part of living as fully as we can live.
And what did I do with my "day off" yesterday? I went to a friend's house and helped her with arts & crafts projects.
Passion. Get some.