Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Naked at the Locker
It's the classic, quintessential stress dream. As used to the dream as I've become over the years, I still hate it. I hate that I feel so vulnerable in that dream, so uncontrolled, so... frantic. Because I'm not normally any of those things in my waking life.
So the other night I took control. They're my dreams after all, my little psychotropic nocturnal forays into the Universe of The Bizarre. So I think I've earned the right to have some say. Note: For those of you sensitive to cursing, please stop reading now and go watch The View.
Anyway. There I was, out of some other dream and suddenly standing in front of my locker. I was pretty sure it was my locker even though it was in the wrong hallway. I was late for class and I knew exams were about to start. I felt myself coming unhinged as I hopelessly and helplessly spun the combination dial on the locker. None of the numbers I had in my head would work. As tears threatened to overwhelm me, I looked down. Sure enough. No pants. "Aw shit," I thought. "Here we go again...."
Then that little still conscious part of me tapped my dream me on the shoulder. "Psst. You don't have to do this again. It doesn't have to happen this way." Even so, I futilely spun the dial one last time. Nothing. I felt the hot tears begin to flow, felt the air on my bare legs, clenched my fists and with all the gusto I had, I hollered, "Fuck this noise!"
There was a whoosh of rushing air around me. The sound of distant thunder. A scent of cloves. The warmth of sunshine. I wiped my tears away to find myself sitting in a vast field, with the gentle rustle of weeds and grass coming like a prayer.
We can control our reactions to things. In doing so, we change our actions. In changing our actions, we change the world around us. In changing the world around us, the Universe opens wide.
Posted by Barb Black at 6:12:00 AM