Monday, June 30, 2008

Disorder in the House

Well, I was going to launch into a whole post about the events in my life over the past 24+ hours, but with respect to time and energy, I'm simply going to copy and paste the text of an email I sent to my best pals... fasten your seatbelts.

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I wanted to let you know that Scott had a stroke yesterday. Luckily for all of us, I was with him when it happened and got him help in time. There's about a two hour window of opportunity for treatment that will help with recovery. It affected his right side and his speech, but he's responding really well and showing good signs of coming back from it. All his vitals are good, he's now able to move his right arm and leg and has some grip in his hand. His mind is ALL there, he just has real difficulty getting what he has to say off his tongue.

Needless to say, it threw me. Yesterday at 6 a.m., we were having coffee and swapping stories and both of us drifted off to sleep. Next thing I knew I was waking to a thud. Scott had tried to get up and fell to the floor (uninjured, thankfully). I asked him what happened and he kind of muttered and got back into the chair (he's been sleeping in the recliner for comfort since his surgery and I've been camping on the sofa next to him). I didn't think a lot of it, but then noticed that he kept looking around like he was a bit confused and unfocused. I asked him what was wrong and didn't get a response. So, I went closer to him and asked again. He just muttered. Then I got right in his face and said, "HEY! look at me. I need you to answer me or I'm calling 911." At that point, he grabbed his right hand with his left and just let it flop. Good answer. He was at the hospital within 15 minutes.

I spent all of yesterday and all of last night by his side, except for about a 45 minute break when I dashed home to feed the furball and take a shower.

Of course, his family is rattled too... his kids are really shook. Who wouldn't be? They're used to this dynamic guy zipping around and giving everyone shit, as am I. But, I keep reassuring them that he's responding really well and that mentally, he is most definitely all there. He was even kind of joking around yesterday. They have him on soft solids and for dinner they brought him some hideously gray mushroom soup. He plunked the spoon in the bowl, looked at me and said, "You!" Rat Bastard wanted me to eat the crap first! I looked at the bowl of gray sludge and I said, "What, now you hate me?!" He rewarded me with the classic Scott smirk that I adore so much.

So. That's my news. I'm at work now and I'll head back to the hospital in a few hours. But, keep the tassles twirling, fingers crossed, vibes flowing, prayers, whatever. If ya got it, use it... I want my man back. He's as tough and stubborn as I am (go figger), so I know he's going to give it his all.

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As Alanis once sang, "Isn't it ironic... don'tchya think...?"

Saturday night we watched The Bucket List together. Great flick. Anyway. I mentioned that it was too close to home for me. Scott mentioned that nothing quite so devastating had ever happened in his family.

After the movie, it was about 2 a.m., I stepped outside to look at the stars. Said hi to John and told him, "It's still a good life, Hunny. Thank you...." And was immediatedly graced with a shooting star.

Yesterday as I zipped home from the hospital to feed the cat and shower, I kind of let my emotions fly. As is often, it came out in a conversation with John, "Dammit... don't you let my heart get broken again. I know life's not set up to be fair, but really! No fucking way am I saying goodbye again! No, no no no no NO!" And, as the tears fell, the DJ on the radio spun the next song (one of John's favorites), Bob Marley's No Woman, No Cry.

*sigh* Mi Vida Loca...

It'll be ok. I'm ok.

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