I just started reading Lisey's Story by Stephen King, and had an aha moment that near 'bout knocked me flat. I finally figured out why the last few weeks have felt so right... meant so much.
"...I lay awake... and understood that I was really home, that in bed with you was home, and something that had been getting close in the dark was suddenly gone. It could not stay. It had been banished. It knew how to come back, I was sure of that, but it could not stay, and I could really go to sleep. My heart cracked with gratitude... I lay there beside you and the tears rolled down the sides of my face and onto the pillow. I loved you then and I love you now and I have loved you every second in between. I don't care if you understand me. Understanding is vastly overrated, but nobody ever gets enough safety. I've never forgotten how safe I felt with that thing gone out of the darkness."
~Stephen King, Lisey's Story
And, it's just funny. Ironic funny, that is. I had just such a night not more than a couple of weeks ago, and I've been trying to define the feeling I've had the past few weeks with Scott here. This works. It's not a head over heals plunge off the cliff, not that omg what'll I do if he's not there, but more a sense of calm... a sense that this is good. This is right. This is the way it ought to be. And if tomorrow never comes, if tomorrow hurtles me ass over teacup in some other direction, it'll be ok.
The other irony here (and irony rarely misses me as it's target), is that I've had the book for two years now, but couldn't read it because it's about Lisey losing her mate to an untimely death. But, I needed something new to read, so I grabbed it off the shelf and thought I'd give it a whirl. Who knew? Perfect timing, just for that paragraph alone.