here. She asks: Knowing who you are today, what would you have done differently to cultivate your creativity/parts of you that took a few years to shine forth?
I'm not sure what I would have done differently. The biggest truth that I've found within creativity is that it was there in me all along. I think what I would have done differently would have been to simply allow it. I think when we have talent, when we have gifts, and we don't let those things shine, we are robbing not only ourselves, but the rest of the world of something precious.
I know that had I allowed this kind of creativity in my life earlier I would have been a happier person. I would have felt a sense of fulfillment that was sadly lacking. Had I experience those things, I know it would have changed me as well as my relationships with others. Every now and then Steve asks, "Why couldn't I have met you 25 years ago?" I say, "We'd have never gotten together. You wouldn't have liked who I was then."
I think, and I'm kind of thinking aloud here... I think that had I found the confidence in my creative skills that I have now, I would have been a more confident person as a whole. When we're creative and when we share that creativity with others, we can't help but be wide open. It's impossible to keep an emotion bottled up if you're translating it into an art form.
I feel sorry for That Barb, the Barb from days of yore. I feel sad for her that she kept so much in, and in doing so, kept so much from getting in. The other thing that I've found in doing the thing I was meant to do is that my intuition is much more keen. I've learned to trust what I feel instead of setting it aside.
I don't think I would have honed the creativity in me so much as the creativity would have honed me. When you first light a candle, it's a small soft glow. Then, as the wick and wax burn, the flame gets bigger and brighter. I'd like to think that there's still plenty of shine in me. I'm reasonably certain that I wasn't too late in opening my creative doors. I can't go back and change who I was, I can only go forward and be.