Saturday, May 8, 2010

Roosters, Ponchos, & Tentacles... Oh My!

Yesterday was a good day. Thanks everyone for your kind and supportive words. Y'all are  definitely the shine after the storm!

Today, I'm feeling lazy. 'Fraid I couldn't motivate myself if VanGogh dropped by to offer me art classes. Whether I "deserve" it or not, I'm going with the flow and letting the day take me where it will. Knowing me, I'll be overcome with guilt at some point, spring into action, and actually get quite a bit accomplished.

I also thought I'd take the opportunity to bring some lightness in the form of silliness to this blog. Haven't we all had those moments when we walk in on a conversation, and are struck by the most obscure line? You enter a room where two people are talking and, without the benefit of the rest of the conversation, hear someone exclaim, "I swear! If I'd known, I wouldn't have gotten my hands anywhere near his pants!" Of course, the person who said that probably didn't mean anything near what you instantly interpreted, but that's what makes it so funny.

Facebook is fraught with moments like that. Sometimes, just to amuse myself, I go looking for such things. I decided to collect them and post them here. To any of my Facebook friends and readers who might recognize themselves in some of this, well... I make no apology. I only thank you for making my days more amusing. So, Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms in the crowd! And now, on to my favorite Facebook non-sequiturs of the week...

I'm gonna sell rain ponchos at the bar..
Wow... Sounds like a rough place to go drinkin'...

Wholly balls!
Entirely? That's something that should be treated with such reverence as to make them Holy.

Sally Smith (name has been changed) is selling roommate. $350.00
Man o' man. These really are tough times!

I no longer have a toilet in my living room!
Just don't look in the dining room...

If anyone actually gets the purple alien calf, let me know.
No worries. I'm pretty sure that's somethin' you'd hear me screamin' about. But what really gets me with this one is the use of the word actually. "If anyone actually gets..." I mean, are there people out there faking getting a purple alien calf? People gots no shame.

What's with this gently igniting stuff?
Indeed. Why aren't we all equipped with flamethrowers?!

I think my Ex is beautiful.
Listen closely, children. Drinking and divorcing do NOT mix!

They would not be licking their "tentacles."
I don't know what kind of octopus you've got for a pet, lady, but...

My aunt just canned her rooster.
Damn. It really is hard to find good help.

And my personal favorite...
Don't get in a hurry. It can take time to suck the life juices from things.
Indeed it can. Indeed it can...

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