Friday, December 5, 2008

I'm Not Crazy, I'm Just a Little Unwell

Happy Friday!!! Time for the end of the week Attitude Adjustment. And so, The List returns. You heard it here first, and I heard it first somewhere else.

She's been having really good sex in her region. Oh my god... I mean success! Oh my god...

Did you get my message? I left a message for you. But it won't mean anything because I forgot why I called.

Your hair looks really nice today. Did you do something different?
Well, I did have great sex last night.
Whoa! Did you just say what I think you said?
No.

I can't type in these shoes.

Get this... their last name is Bates and they named their dog Master.
Master Bates? Oh. OH! Really?
Hey, dog's gotta do what a dog's gotta do.

I need a thimble.
What kind of symbol? Like from God? Just to sew up a pocket?
THIMBLE! Thinth when do I lithp?!

How do you want your steak cooked?
Just lead the cow to the grill squealing in terror and then bring it right back to me.


I haven't had any brain activity for a week.


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And now to further adjust your attitude... tune in, turn on, rock out... and have a great weekend!
But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be

~Matchbox 20, Unwell

2 comments:

  1. I've often wanted to say a few of those just for the look on peoples faces when they are said with perhaps just a bit of a smirk..
    "How do you want your steak cooked?
    Just lead the cow to the grill squealing in terror and then bring it right back to me. " I know someone who well lets just say it's almost like that, on the grill, flipped over off the grill in under 20 seconds and that's probably too long - blue steak no thanks..
    As for "I haven't had any brain activity for a week." I know a few people where this is true..

    !!!! We are sorry but the video is not longer available !!!!
    Darn it

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  2. Made me think of a kid in school ahead of me (last name: BATER). And as kids, you still called a young man "Master" (as opposed to the adult 'Mister') on mailed communication (ex: inviations), and I recall hearing the phrase "Master Bater" at an all too innocent age & not knowing what the older kids were laughing about...

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