Head Shot

Sometimes I just need a really good kick in the head.

I like to complicate things, make my own process more difficult, spend lots of time and energy on stuff that could really be a whole lot easier and just as effective. I tell myself that's good because I don't like to do anything halfway. No way baby, not this Scorpio!

As usual, the Universe nabbed my attention in threes - in my book that equals a kick in the head. Thanks so much.

I have this... thing... when I sit down to create a card, I feel like it has to be completely new, improved, fancy and full of color and pattern. I don't for one minute want anyone thinking that my work has gone stale, least of all me. I'm constantly asking myself how I can kick it up a notch. In doing so, I often overlook the beauty in the simple, and I forget that no one but me looks at my work through my eyes.

I had to come up with three different designs for a client to choose from. I worked for hours, embossing, coloring in, sponging, stamping, re-stamping, crumpling shabby work and tossing it. Even so, I was mostly pleased in the end. Two of the designs were fairly intensive in terms of the amount of work they took. The last one, done when I was tired and mostly exasperated, was much less intricate. To me it looked so bare that it was barely there.

I sent my client pictures of the three cards, fully expecting that he would pick one of the first two. Instead, he wrote back, choosing the third, simpler one, and said, "I love this card! It's simple and elegant. Just what I wanted. The other two are nice, but they're a little to art-heavy for what I need." Can a girl lay her head down and cry even when she's happy? Ah, yes. She can.

*cue heavy sigh*

I should know better. I've been doing this long enough, and it never fails that what I think is total crap is what gets the most compliments. Really. Sometimes as I post pictures of my work, I'll think, "I shouldn't even be putting this up. It's really not worthy." Well, I need to stop looking with just my own eyes and borrow others.

The same holds true for my writing too. I can slave and parse for hours and the end result beckons crickets to chirp. The posts where I sort of throw something up on the screen, completely off the cuff and barely spell-checked, gets all kinds of feedback.

I don't get it. Clearly. I just don't get it.

That's my little wrestling match to start the week off.

Why do I try so hard? What is that about me?

I don't get it.

Maybe I just need a good kick in the head.