Yes. Twenty two years ago. I had feelings that were bigger than I knew how to handle, bigger than I knew what to do with. I was young and completely alone in the crowd.
So, I thought it would be easier to just check out.
What stopped me? The surety that I would fuck it up somehow. That I'd end up living out the rest of my life as a non-contributing vegetable. That I'd somehow end up making a bad thing worse. That I would fail beyond all failure.
Besides, deep down, I knew there was better out there somewhere. I knew there was better in me somewhere. There was the tiniest spark of a voice in me that said, "Oh please. Don't give up just yet."
Turns out it was my inner gypsy, calling long distance. It took her nearly two more decades to really show up, but she would occasionally leave me clues that she was around - the bitch is such a tease. But, show up she finally did, in all her tenacious glory.
I'm glad I listened. I'm glad I waited.
I was worth it.
That's beautiful Barb. Thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you waited too.
ReplyDeleteYour gypsy rocks!