Sunday, September 27, 2009

A Rest Between the Motes

I'm doing my restless thing again (and not a full moon in sight!). My brain is overly full, my spirit twitchy, my skin itchy and I seem to have all but given up on sleep. I was awake at 2:30 this morning, then again at 3:04, again at 3:57, again at 4:29 when I finally gave up and got up. I tip-toed downstairs and made some bean and wandered out onto the deck to enjoy the fridgity cold, crystal clear "night" sky. It was beautiful and well worth the lack of sleep. I even saw some shooting stars. Of course, I spent much of the time contemplating. Is there anything else like the dark of night to encourage contemplation? Not for me.

As is fairly typical, I thought about the path... about the way things wind together; about how often we fight the journey even when we know it's a journey for the journey's sake (anyone out there waiting to "arrive" is in for a lifetime of disappointment, and probably an afterlife of disappointment). Of course, being the young starry-eyed, head-over-heels-in-love thang that I am, I spent some of that time thinking about how beautiful it is to have a hand to hold and a soul to share the path with. I've always had a great appreciation for the path, for the journey, for all the brambles and sunshine and rocks and water and meadows and forest and mountains and dirt and flowers... all of it. There is so much, if we're paying attention, to take notice of and in which to find the beautiful.

Did I feel a bit disgruntled about my current insomnolent tendency? Sure. I distinctly recall, as I tossed one last time and flipped the covers back with a heavy sigh, uttering, "E-fucking-NUFF!" Yet, mere moments later I was completely thankful to be seeing such a (pardon the pun) stellar display. Oy, the lessons The Universe teaches... it was as if the night sky was saying, "So there! Grump about it, will ya?! Hmmm...."

I'll find a solution to my sleep contrariety. In the meantime... it seems I'm to wander the path during the very early morning (or late evening if you're just leaving the pub) hours. My artistic side has an appreciation for the shadow play and deep color... it's pretty to see the path twinkled o'er by starlight.

~When the Stars Go Blue, Ryan Adams

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