Mondays with Murphy

This morning, like any morning lately, I stepped out onto the back deck (wearing only bathrobe and slippers) to watch the sunrise across the valley. It was a nipply morning, having dipped all the way down into the upper 40's last night. Still, it was beautiful and quiet, and I felt a deep sense of well-being as I watched the light come up behind the foothills and paint the sky in myriad colors while the fog crept across the bucolic valley on its proverbial cat's feet. Steve was bustling around inside as he got ready to head off to work. Around 6:30 a.m., with a few minutes to spare, he joined me on the deck, then gave me a goodbye kiss, headed back in, and shut the sliding glass door. Moments later, he emerged from the garage below, and with a wink toward me, got in his truck. "Love you, Baby... be safe..." I said from on high. I watched as the truck turned the corner and sped off. By that point the slightly damp chill in the air had wound itself around my ankles and as well, had made its way through my fleecy bathrobe. With a slight shiver I decided to go in and get another cup of coffee...


(*cue screeching dischordant halt*)


...only to discover that Steve had inadvertently locked the door when he went in. So, there I was on the back deck, 15 feet off the ground, a bit cold in only my bathrobe and slippers, not a cup of coffee in sight, and wondering how long I could hold out without a bathroom. I was actually even amused that it had happened at all, rather than feeling disgruntled. What would have been the point? It was what it was. Shit happens. Murphy strikes again.

I was out there for almost an hour and a half when The Fishin' Slut pulled up next door. As he got out of his truck, he looked up and said, "Mornin' Mrs. Bubba!" "Mornin' Slut!" I sounded back, and then, "Hey Danny... you got a spare key to this place? Steve locked me out on the deck!" Danny stood, mouth agape, and asked, "The fuck he do that for?!" I assured him it was merely force of habit and not at all intentional. Then I asked him to give Steve a call on his cell phone, which he promptly did. Of course, as a wise man once explained, Murphy never sleeps - he got Steve's voice mail.

The message went: "Hey Steve. I usually call you Bubba, but you only get to be Steve now. You went to work and left that poor girl on the deck and she's locked out in the cold with just her jammies on. Call me back!" He then assured me that he'd keep calling every few minutes until he got through. By the time he came upstairs and out on his deck, Steve had called back. Danny had him on speaker phone as he came through his door. I heard him say, "No, she's stuck out there, she can't get in..." Pregnant pause followed by Steve's inevitable, "Fuuuuck." I couldn't help but giggle. He apologized and explained that he had to deal with things at the jobsite and then would be home to let me back in.

When he showed up about 45 minutes later, he hopped out of the truck, ignominiously shook his head, then looked up at me, and said cheerfully, "Hi Hunny... enjoying the view?" I smiled at him and shot back, "Oh yeah, lovely morning!" I heard him open the garage door, clomp up the stairs, and then he was on the other side of the slider and opening the door to let me in. "I'm soooo sorry!" I silenced him with a kiss and told him, "It's ok... I only have one thing to say..." He lifted an eyebrow in question. To which I replied, "I have to pee!" as I barreled past him.

When I came back out I poured a fresh, hot cup o' bean - I was still a little shivery from my previous encampment. Steve needed coffee too, since in another covert op pulled by Murphy, he had managed to leave his travel mug o' bean on the table instead of taking it with him, and then left the cup of coffee that was given to him at the jobsite on his tailgate as he pulled away (Murphy was his close personal friend this morning!). He snagged a couple of cigarettes from his pack and asked, "Care to join me on the deck, or have you had enough for one morning?" I said, "Of course I'll join you! Just don't lock the door, Brat." And he wrapped his arms around me.

Like I said, I was actually pretty amused by the whole event. It could have been worse. It could have been pouring rain, Steve could have forgotten his cell phone rather than his coffee mug, Danny could have been gone for hours, I could have been wearing my light cotton bathrobe instead of my fleecy one, or gone without slippers like I usually do. Eh. It's all good.

Shit happens. Rama llama ding dong. Party on, Murphy. Party on.