I had this vision in my head that I couldn't shake. The most striking thing about it was the absolutely stunning cobalt blue color that ran through it. It was too big for me to hold in my mind, too vivid. too... occupying. I tried to describe it to Steve and just failed miserably...well... how can you describe color? How do you place the intangible in someone's hands? So, I hauled out my ancient acrylics, equally ancient paintbrushes, and a blank 18X36" canvas that I've been hauling all over the place for almost 10 years now. I gave it my best shot, channeled all the Harold Black I could summon, fueled it with some Dave Matthews (Crash Into Me fit the feeling I had in the vision), and spent the day dabbling in a world where I'm mostly inept (or at least feel that way).
It felt good. My rejection from the Louvre Museum aside, it just felt good. I got the soul gunk out. I can return to my normal level of insanity now. Or maybe I've found a new level of insanity. Just what I need... to kick my creatively spasmodic sensibilities up a notch! Egads.
My point here is this: If you get an idea in your head; if there's a notion that you just can't shake loose, roll with it. Follow it. See where it takes you. What's it going to hurt? I could have painted the thing and never showed it to a soul and it would have felt as good. I've just gotten bold and brazen that way in my younger than that now age. So, friends and neighbors... push your creative soul a little bit this weekend. Write something even if it feels like total crap; even if it's just a list of words that you like. Draw something even if your horses look like mutant junkie tsetse flies, even if it's just doodles. Paint, sew, cook, stamp, mosaic, take photos... whatever creative thing grabs you and takes you down the rabbit hole for a while. You'll feel so much better. Lighter somehow. I promise.
When I came downstairs yesterday, covered with as much paint as I slopped on the canvas, Steve asked, "What's The Girl up to?" I said, "Nothing now. I'm done pretending I can paint." He looked at the colors (predominantly cobalt) splotched all over my hands, arms, jeans and shirt, and gave me The Grin. See... he knows the origin of that strange cobalt blue world... after all, I found it when he crashed into me. Now he can see it too...
~Crash Into Me, Dave Matthews