Portion of Strangers in a Stranger World
Creativity flourishes when we have a sense of safety and self-acceptance.
Fear seems to be a common thread among my artsy friends. Some of it is fear that anyone could understand - fear of not getting it right, fear of being misunderstood, fear of rejection, that kind of stuff.
Some of it is a little more esoteric.
There's a fear of being pushed over the edge of Crazy. Yes, I know I've touched on this before, but I'm seeing it more and more as a prevalent theme. Do I tame the beast or does the beast devour me? My friend Dave likes to say, "I know how touchy you artist types are." And I always think, "Touchy... or touched?!" You know as well as I do that it's a fine line. Just ask Mr. Van Gogh.
But... I digress. It's fear we're talking about here. Fear of letting loose our creative sides. Fear of seeing just where the beast will lead us. And, if we're being honest with ourselves, fear of never coming back. Let's face it, it's like Nietzsche said, "...if you gaze into the abyss the abyss gazes into you." What was once conjecture is now my reality. Once I opened the gates, my creative world got bigger, and it only keeps expanding. If ever I should be labeled as courageous or intrepid, it was in that single act, in opening the gate and following the beast.
It's been a wild ride, and I'm pretty sure it's only just begun. My beast only gives me hints of where it's taking me on a need to know basis... one paint splotch, one fine hair's width line, one word, one musical note at a time. But I'm not afraid any more.
I'm more afraid of the death I felt within when I wasn't allowing my creativity to flourish. Not everyone gets that, and that's okay. My own mother doesn't get it. C'est la vie. Some things are more important than fearing the beast... or my mother. I've learned that with proper balance (meditation, socializing, etc.) that the beast can't take me anywhere I'm not willing to go. And someone always loves me enough to make sure I've got a return ticket.
Strangers in a Stranger World