Ever have those things that you're really good at, but that you don't particularly enjoy doing? I'm like that with sewing, and lately I've had a lot of sewing projects - everything from mending (ugh) to making curtains to pillows to clothing. I'm an adept seamstress and have made things for people all over the world, including a vest that got sent to Scotland and a Hawaiian shirt that resides in Australia. People always seem to be dazzled by my projects. Don't get me wrong, that's great.
I really don't enjoy sewing. I think because it's not one of those creative forms I get lost in. I have to use both sides of my brain when I sew, so the creative factor doesn't feel as pure. I love the finished product. Nothing satisfies like a pretty, warm quilt. Seeing one of "my" shirts on someone gives me warm fuzzies. I like being able to take a piece of fabric, cut it up, and make something useful out of it. I like that, in a disposable world where most people have cast "old" ways to the side, I know how to sew. Still, the doing of the thing leaves me wanting.
Having immersed myself in sewing for the past couple of days, I find myself missing my other art with a longing that only comes from true passion. I feel as though I've been locked away from my lover for days and I'm lost without that embrace. It's a revelation to me, and a good one. It gives me substance to draw from in those moments (few, but there) of doubt when I ask myself, "Are you sure this is what you want?" Yes, it is. Oh, yes.
It's also been wonderful to realize that we can be good at something, really good at it, without it having to be a passion! I feel liberated. I'm good at a lot of things that I don't care a whole lot about. So, it's nice to be relieved of some guilt I've been carrying around. It doesn't mean I'll stop sewing. In fact, hauling out my fabric stash (two coffin-sized sterlite bins packed full) has made me think of other sewing projects I'd like to do, and will do. It just means I'll be able to walk by the stash, on my way to doing other art, without that inner guilt voice saying, "You should be doing that too...." Ahhhh. No more of that "torn between two lovers" feeling. Bliss.
Just because we can do something doesn't mean we should do something. What we need to weigh in the balance is where our real passion lies. If you're good at more than one thing (and most of us are good at many), pick the thing that is going to leave your soul satisfied. Pick the thing that makes you excited to wake up in the morning. Pick the thing that you can't wait to tell your friends about.
I think that if you put out positive energy, you’re touching people in a way that they need to be touched, whether you know it or not. And if you’re not expecting it or trying to do it for that purpose, then you actually touch more people.
We can't be anything to others until we are everything to ourselves.