Give a moment or two to the angry young man,
With his foot in his mouth and his heart in his hand.
He's been stabbed in the back, he's been misunderstood,
It's a comfort to know his intentions are good.~Angry Young Man, Billy Joel
Late last night I was thinking over events of the past few months and came to a startling realization. I've yet to be angry over any of it. Disappointed, sure. Sad, without question. Frantic at times, you betchya. But angry? It's just not there. So, I tried to conjure up some anger and failed.
I went further back and realized that, although I've been a bit pissed off at times, annoyed with different things, I haven't really been angry since John died. It seems he took all my rage with him... threw it out there into the universal mix for someone else to wear (heavy coat that it is).
Does that mean I'm passive? No. Not at all. I still take the good old Hungarian Attila approach to problems (storm the castle, apologize later... if at all). I can be feisty when needed. But that ol' energy thief, real anger, seems to have gone. I can't say that I miss it. I have far better focus when I'm not consumed by that particular fire.
I believe I've passed the age of consciousness and righteous rage
I found that just surviving was a noble fight.
I once believed in causes too,
I had my pointless point of view,
And life went on no matter who was wrong or right.
~Angry Young Man, Billy Joel
Amid turmoil, I'm at peace. When did that happen? How? Why? I don't know.
Listen up... this is some fantastic piano playing. Would the gods that I could play like Billy!
~Billy Joel, Angry Young Man