Thursday, January 29, 2009

Sexploitation

I have a dear friend who is, at long last, meeting up with her paramour this weekend (*wink*... you know who you are). Yep, she'll be trysting the night(s) away. In honor of that, and in the tradition of my occasional Friday lists (yeah, it's only Thursday... so what?!), I'm putting up a list of the top 10 most fun and sexy things ever said to me either during or immediately post coital fun (notice the use of fun twice in the same sentence - that's because sex is supposed to be FUN!). Yes, said directly to me. I'm not telling who said them or why (a gentlewoman never tells, but I'd be happy to give you my phone number). I will say this; only one of the lines was said by someone with whom I've never had the pleasure (oh, but given the opportunity! Gads...), and you'd probably be surprised which line that is. But you'll just have to use your own imagination.

"Lord... almighty... that one deserves a cigarette!"

"Let's get naked and go to bed."

"I know this sounds cheesy as hell, but I could drown in those eyes."
"Don't worry, I haven't lost anyone yet. I'll throw you a life line."
"No, please don't!"

"Do you prefer Barb or Barbara... 'cause I'm about to holler your name..."

"You are un-fucking-real."

"So... how you feelin' now little girl?"

"Holy fuck, my knees are week. Was it your intention to hobble me?!"

"Y'know... I am never again going to be able to look at your mouth without having lascivious thoughts."

"While you're up, please get me a glass of water and a paramedic. My god."

"I'm tellin' you... the Christian version of heaven is alllllll wrong!"

7 comments:

  1. i love that you're so open here. And yer keeping me laughing. Thank you so much for that - i can always use more laughter in my life!

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  2. Thanks Jess! I figure if I can't be open here, I'm pretty much doomed in any other avenue of my life.

    And for those of you who emailed me and basically hollered, "OMG! Too much info!" I say, as the texters are wont to do, "TFB." Deal with it. I don't intend to crawl back under the rock any time soon.

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  3. Nevermind that your poor innocent nephew is scarred for life! LORD HELP ME!

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  4. Nevermind that your poor innocent nephew is scarred for life! LORD HELP ME!

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  5. Hah-- I was trying to match "quote" with "Bean Victim"-- when I lost count, I just gave up & enjoyed the laugh! Thanks for the walk (back) down perdition lane with you ;-)

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  6. Gee Barb, I'd never have guessed some of that, Lucky someone is all I can say too...
    Oh and I got the joke from that last post..

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