Friday, January 16, 2009

Eyes On

Oy. Enough with the fog already! I'd rather drive in snow than this ethereal pea soup.

Strangers are taking notice of my work - both art work and writing - and it's an uncustomary and peculiar, though not entirely uncomfortable, feeling. Yes, it's what I've wanted all along, but I won't deny that it makes me feel a little like people are peering through my blinds. I don't get to peer back out at them, I can only sense that they're there watching. It's a feeling of... um... hmmm.... I put out the Welcome mat and now I'd better throw on my bathrobe in case someone comes to the door unannounced and gads, I hope my breath isn't too bad, the place looks like hell, but it's mine and they'll have to deal. Ultimately, nutter that I am, I kind of like the feeling. It's one of excitement and anticipation and, well, a little like driving through the fog in the dark or riding a roller coaster with the lights out (controlled fear is my friend). It's also a feeling of justification - not just for me, but for friends and family too - I have to think, "Geez, all my pals aren't just sycophantic lunatics, they maybe really do know what they're talking about." Sorry Gang, my bad. It's not that I don't give your opinions any credence, it's my own lack of self-confidence that makes me question their validity - y'know, kind of like when my Grandma would tell me I have pretty eyes... well, of course she'd say that, she loved me.

Anyway. It's new motivation and gives me new momentum, and for a procrastinating underachiever like me, that's a good thing. Sometimes I get so buried in new ideas that I waste more time thinking about them than simply getting down to it and implementing them. So, I think I'll spend the weekend in my studio. Midnight, the Ink Pad cat, will be so happy.

Then there's my new commitment to doing the half marathon next year (none would argue that I shouldn't be committed one way or the other!). I don't even know how to begin training for that. Run a little, then run a lot, I suppose. As Haute Bisquette says, "There's only one way to eat an elephant... one bite at a time." It's just that I'm not a runner. I've never been a runner. And I know I have a year, but it's probably going to take me a year. And everyone says, "but you don't have to run, you can just walk fast as long as you can do a 16 minute mile." However, if I've committed to doing this, I want to run it - all of it. I've already proved that I can walk. Besides, running will help get the rest of this flab off me, and I'd really like that to happen before my next birthday. So it will. Watch me. This is where I turn my Scorpion qualities - stubborn and headstrong - into assets.

*narrows eyes, sets chin and nods*


Yeah. Watch me. Let the 2009 Gypsy Paradigm begin. Exact change only.

(Guess I'll only spend half the weekend in the studio and the other half, I'll hook Nino to his leash and let him take me for a run - if anyone thinks I walk him, you are hilariously mistaken.)

1 comment:

  1. Best of luck with training for this! A marathon, be it half, quarter or ten minutes, is something my body could NOT take right now. i applaud you!

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