Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Artistically Challenged

I just found out that I've made it to the quarter-finals in the contest. WoooHOO! (I entered Gypsy a couple of months ago.) I'm honored to have made it as far as the top 296 out of 1196 entries. I'll know by December 18th if I've made it to the semi-finals or not. So... keep your digits crossed. I'm excited either way.

I also have an acquaintance who has taken an interest in my cards and artwork, and is trying to market them for me. It has the potential for quantity, as well as for accreditation and visibility.

Something out there in the universe suddenly seems to be paying attention to me, and I have to admit, it's thrilling, albeit a bit disquieting. Maybe the many loved ones I've lost in my young life have gathered together to supplicate the gods on my behalf (I would agree with Vicki, that there's definitely some channeling going on). Maybe it's all of you out there, my cheerleaders, rooting me on. Maybe The Fate Sisters are nodding in my direction, having had tea with The Sisterhood of Muses, who did some name-dropping. Maybe it's just my time in the current. Maybe all of that.

It has me pondering though. For so long I've held my creative side in check. Much of that came from fear - fear of being laughed at; fear of being misunderstood; fear of being booed off the stage; and if I'm honest with myself,
fear of success
. In opposition to those feelings has been a lifetime of frustration at working jobs that, while I may be good at them and find some level of enjoyment in them, leave me feeling mired and wondering why I was given wings in the first place. Mea maxima culpa. One can never feel the rush of the wind if one doesn't jump. I don't know where all this will take me - I don't know to whom, exactly, I need to submit my endeavors, which work(s) to submit, or even what I need to submit to (except, perhaps, my fealty to the talent I've been given). I do know that I'm not afraid anymore, and I'm no longer allowed to hide. Daily, I stand out on the back porch, open my arms wide, and say, "I'm willing."

Thoreau said, "
To affect the quality of the day, that is the highest of arts." If I can do that, whatever I'm working on, in whichever field (yes, even if I get to be a Customer Service Manager for the rest of my life), I'll have succeeded.

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