Monday, June 6, 2011

Fun With a Side of Freedom

Somewhere along the way we forgot how. As children we knew how. We didn't even question it. We were all about fun. We were all about having fun. But somehow, in our rush to and through adulthood, we lost that ability. We got stuck in a minefield of seriousness. Sure, we know how to joke around. We know how to laugh. But few are completely at ease with it. We make apologies when we get down with the silliness.

Tragic. How did that happen? More importantly, how do we get it back?

Watch a group of kids. They laugh, play, dance, sing, make up outlandish stories and explore the far reaches of humor. All unabashedly. They don't stop and ask, "Too far? Too much? Is this going to bother or offend someone?" They just giggle and keep going.

That's freedom of the highest degree.

And I realized this weekend just how much of that kind of freedom I have in my life. Sure, accuse me of being a Pollyanna, just try. You know I can and will dive into the deeper issues without so much as a snorkel. And don't say I'm lucky. I don't buy the whole luck bucket. We make our own luck through our actions and our attitudes. To say I'm lucky is to ignore all of the impossibly difficult things that have happened in my life. To say I'm lucky is to disregard all the incredibly hard work I've done on my life. Fortunate, yes... but lucky? Fuck that.


This weekend I realized just how much freedom I have. I was talking to a friend about making cards and mentioned that it's like being in kindergarten every day. I get to color and cut and glue and play. The thing is, I've pushed myself and my life in that direction. I've taken steps to allow that in my life. I've made sacrifices in order to have that freedom.

Freedom doesn't just happen. You have to work for it.

It's no secret that I'm head-over-feet crazy in love with my mate. One of the reasons for that is that we laugh together. Note the subtlety there. It's not that he makes me laugh, it's that we laugh together. We know how to have fun with each other. I can hear it now, "You're so lucky," "I never meet guys/girls like that," "My mate just isn't/doesn't/won't..." You know what I say to those naysayers? Fuck that too.

For starters, where are you looking for your Laughin' Pal? In a bar? A laundromat? The produce section? Or maybe you're not actively looking (and weeding out the ass hats in the process). Maybe you're just hoping someone will land oh, so perfectly in your lap. Doesn't happen that way. You have to be an active participant with a positive attitude that the right person will be there. Don't settle for availability, hold out for quality. Because when the sex isn't there, the joy had better be.

For those of you already in a relationship who are rolling your eyes and saying, "Yeah right..." If you can't laugh together, you've got issues that you need to work on. And if you can't come back to the laughter, if you can't re-establish it, then it's time to cut the ties. Nope, no buts. Trust me on this, if laughter isn't there, nothing is there.

I searched for my mate and I went through heartache along the way. We both work hard to make it a worthy relationship in a lot of different ways. But what it comes down to is that we love each other because we laugh together.

Really. Once you've rolled around naked and giggling with someone, what's the point of hiding anything? Yeah. See? Freedom.

When was the last time you had fun? If you can pin-point it, then this post is for you.


  1. The last time i had would be easier to say the last time i didn't. Let's see, last night Paul and i cracked up over the cat trying to get at his coconut cream pie, and the evil looks that followed from the feline. He seemed to sense we were laughing at him. And today, while painting and inking and fiddling with a mixed media canvas, that was fun, for sure.

    And i myself say that i'm still like a kindergartener - one of my favorite ways to spend my time is cut and paste. i never outgrew it.

  2. I love silliness, and try to incorporate it into every day. My favorite people are those who jump right into it with me. I used to apologize for it to the people it annoyed, and I gave that up for something better - a happier lifestyle.

    And as for mates, the first quality I always wished for was humor. That's why I don't have one. I'm in total agreement with you, you MUST have laughter and humor in your relationship, without it, what's the point?


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