Sunday, March 21, 2010

Out of My Mind... Back In 10...

Y'know... sometimes I just need to get out of my head. I don't mean out of my mind, most would say that's a general state of affairs anyway. I'm a deep thinker, an over-thinker, constantly pondering several things at once, it never stops. A friend of mine mentioned that the Buddhists call it "chattering monkeys." My monkeys are the high-octane variety. Sleep doesn't help. I'm a vivid dreamer, a wild dreamer, a rampant dreamer... there's always a show going on in my sleep. At times, it's all too overwhelming, and although I'm a relatively calm person, I need to go on a quest for quiet, especially some internal quiet.

So, where do I go? Ahh... nothing but music calms this particular savage breast. It has always been so. On a somewhat moderate level, it works to put on headphones, tune in, turn on, and drop out. On a greater level, what works best, is to make my own music. It sounds contradictory, I know, but it does work. If I'm sitting at the keyboard playing and/or singing, there's nothing else going on. It's just me and the music.

I can tell when I haven't played in a while (as it is now), because I get this... hmm... almost an electrical current charging my entire body. I can't sit still, I can't concentrate. I get frustrated with myself and my lack of focus. I get crabby. Then I stop for a minute and realize what's missing, what's nagging at me. I need to play. It's that simple. Making music is my meditation. It's a mental orgasm. Nothing matters but that surge. Nothing satisfies but that shuddering burst.

Music. I can't imagine my life without it. I don't do art without music playing in the background. A snippet of song will take me back to and into a brief moment in my life. It sets a mood, it sparks a feeling, it's a light in the darkest times.

Music. It's been there for me through everything. I wouldn't know how to live without it's accent on a day.

"Music when soft voices die
Vibrates in the me

~Percy Bysshe Shelley

Mr. Shelley understood. It's madness, but it's a beautiful madness. If you'll pardon me, I'll be out of my head for a few... however, feel free to join me n' Mr. Franti... c'mon... sing along... or sign along...

Everyone Deserves Music
~Michael Franti & Spearhead

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