Tuesday, May 3, 2011

The Long Stare

I've been sitting here, staring at the monitor, for over an hour. As if some fascinating bit of writing will magically appear. It ain't happening.

I even asked my merry band of miscreants for some topic suggestions and I got bupkis mit kuduchas. Thanks guys.

This is how it is some days.

Part of it is that I'm feeling more than a little reticent based on the observation of a friend of mine. He made a comment earlier, "I'm telling you man, blogs... there is SO much bullshit out there..."

I know he's reading this right now and screaming at his monitor, "But I didn't mean you, B!" And, of course he didn't. I know that.

But you know I'm going to take it into consideration regardless. It's true, I often wonder what the point of this blog is, what my point is. Why do I do it? In a day that is already too short on hours, I spend anywhere from half an hour to two hours sitting here playing shuffle board with words. For what? My own gratification and self-satisfaction at having kept myself sane for another day? I suppose that's worth something, but I could just as easily do that in a private journal, couldn't I?

Why the blog? Why the need to spackle the walls of the internet with my deepest thoughts - important to anyone but me or not?

I'm not looking for validation or reassurance. I think it's my way of screaming out to the Universe from the bottom of my personal little fuzz ball, "I am here! I am here! I am heeeeeerrrre!!!!"

Maybe that's it.

Because, obviously, I can't not post. Even when I feel that my words are boring and stilted, I can't keep myself from hitting the "publish post" button.

I am here.

4 comments:

  1. I have felt this same way at times. I love blogging though, and would never stop doing it. Yes, there is a bunch of bullsh** out there, but to me... Mine is not/never will be. I try not to think too much about what others think, I do it for me.

    Good luck, and just know that I love reading your posts. :)

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  2. You know, we all may be going through that after a busy A-Z of blogging. I go back and forth on whether to blog, whether to sell on Etsy. I think my mind changes all the time. I don't know what that means. But at least I never try to force it, and if I don't blog for 3 weeks, then so be it. The next week I'll probably blog 4 times.

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  3. Thanks, guys. Just one of those days, I guess.

    Blue... I love you!

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