I was chastised yesterday for taking so long to post something new. I believe the exact words were, "I check your blog every day and it's been freekin' Mother's Day for a week now!" What can I say? I've been busy... doing... something. Fact is, I lost a day this week somehow. I'm usually pretty good at tracking my days and what fills them, but somewhere along the way this week one of them flat disappeared. I wish I could say it went the way of a drunken stupor, but there isn't even that to fall back on. C'est la vie.
Well, alright already.
Whether I've been writing or not, I've been contemplating much. One of the top ponders on my list is freedom. Freedom and the illusion of freedom. They are very nearly one and the same, with one very significant difference.
The illusion of freedom is the thing we all take for granted - the idea that we are free to do as we want (within reason and without harm to others), to come and go as we please, to break borders and live without bonds. But, all those things can be taken away without a moment's notice.
"Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose."
~Kris Kristofferson, Me and Bobby McGee
True freedom is within. No, this isn't some existential new age bullshit Babbling Barb-ism theory. It's fact. Throughout history those who are truly free, even as captives, are those who are firmly themselves. True freedom lies in the hearts of those who cannot and will not be broken - those who can staunchly declare: I am my self, and that self is worthy.
True freedom is an unfettered mind. True freedom can be found in the music stored in our heads, in each of our respective laughin' places, in the memories that make us smile in the bleakest of times, and in the pulse that thrums just behind our eardrums - that marching beat that says, "I am alive."
Sure, sometimes we feel shackled in this life. Sometimes we feel restrained by events or by others. Often we have to remind ourselves, "I am alive. I am my self. I am worthy." We struggle against perceived confinement to find our laughin' places. We cock our heads in the cacophonous din in an attempt to hear our secret music. But it's there. You and I both know it is. With a little effort, we find it.
What we're made of rarely, if ever, fails us. Therein is true freedom.
"It's not flying. It's controlled falling."
~Buzz Lightyear, Toy Story